Handwashing Like a Pro

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Most of us wash our hands by washing the same areas over and over for 20 seconds (are people still doing that?) We are left with dry skin that slowly gets raw. 

But the video in the link below titled Wash Hands Like a Pro shows why it takes 20 seconds to wash your hands properly. Consider it a public service announcement. And for the inevitable question, no, the video is not suggesting using ink to wash your hands. It's using ink to show coverage!

Wash Hands Like a Pro

Crisis Leadership

Photo by Brian McGowan on Unsplash

I am busy reading Crisis Leadership by Gene Klann. He lists core skills for leaders to use before, during and after a crisis based on years in the military.

At the same time, we are all getting to see our leaders, in all spheres, attempt to do what he writes about in his book. Unsurprisingly, there is a spectrum from miserable failures to confident successes.

Klann talks about three core leadership skills:

• Communication
• Clarity around vision and values
• Care for people

How would you rate your leader on those core skills? 

What could they do to improve?

How could you let them know to help them?

Processing Your Lockdown: The Stages of Grief

Photo by Peter Forster on Unsplash

We are all grieving some sort of loss. 

From loss of freedom of movement for some, to loss of life for others.

And we are all going through stages of grief in some way.

For those who don't know them, the five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. They are not necessarily sequential, but most people experience all of them as they process grief.

Most felt denial in the last week: "this is crazy", "it's surreal", "I can't believe it" and a myriad other responses all show denial.

Last night, I think I moved into anger. I felt anger at our political leaders (on too many levels and for too many things). But the flashpoint for me was listening to a report on the second failed attempt in congress. 

Both sides of the aisle attempted to include their own programs (unrelated to the current crisis) in earmarks and appropriations. It made me angry, that in a time where people are scared, losing their jobs, getting sick, dying (and a prospect that it will only get worse), politics was alive and well.

It made me mad (along with a host of other things).

For me I process anger by sharing it with trusted friends and physical exercise.

My friends weren't available, the gym is closed...so out I went on a run, alone and not very far, but enough to bleed off my anger and find perspective.

Others deal with anger by journaling, sleeping, withdrawing, prayer, solitude and silence (those last two are a little tough if you are stuck in a house with lots of others.

How do you process anger during this crisis time?

Refuel: you need it

Photo by Miguel Bruna on Unsplash

In the gospel of Mark, chapter 2, Jesus's disciples are accused of working on the Sabbath. In the day, the Sabbath was a holy 24 hour period where no work was to be done. In fact, religious leaders had spent a great deal of time determining what was work what wasn't. They saw Jesus disciples doing minimal work on the Sabbath and had an issue with it. Jesus response was that Sabbath was made for us, not the other way around. We don't live to an inflexible schedule, but we do live by a guiding principle: we need rest. We need to refuel. That was Jesus point, not that we can work indefinitely, but that rest as a principle is in our control. 

In this current crisis, as we work from home, the lines between work and home blur. Like me, you might find yourself with no private time, constantly bombarded with needs and requests (from news coverage, child needs, work needs, home needs, personal needs). The idea of resting and refueling, especially emotionally, might be a wish far too fanciful to get. But we need rest (physical, emotional, spiritual, mental). We need to refuel. 

So, let's put that principal of rest being in our control to work:

Here's a few suggestions on how to do that. Please suggest your own in comments!

Physical

• Exercise
• Sleep
• Walk
• Control your breathing
• Hug those in your home for over 10 seconds

Emotional

• Have a video chat with someone you love
• Journal your emotions
• Connect with a counselor, pastor, coach or mentor
• Do something that fills your emotional tank (reading, playing, painting, crafts, etc)
• Listen to your favorite music

Spiritual

• Pray
• Download the Bible App and read through a plan
• Read a devotional, spiritual memoir or blog
• Find a way to spend 10-15 minutes in silence and solitude (noise-canceling headphones help)

Mental

• Turn off the news
• Shut down social media
• Read something fictional
• Start a class (Masterclass has many options)

There are many options, and you probably know some better than I listed here. Remember, you control how and when you find rest, so exercise your control. Refuel: you need it.

The Best In Us

Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash

I am overwhelmed...

...not with fatigue, or fear or stress.

I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

In the space of these last few days I saw the best in us. I just finished watching the Mayor of Boston's live address (March 17, 2020). It was incredible and hopeful. It was presidential. It was human.

In these days of crisis, I have seen individuals offer help, civic, medical and community resources work hard, companies provide support, politicians work together and remove red tape, industries band together. In an apocalyptic scenario, we are not collapsing. We are rising. We are banding together. We are leading well. We are being...human...the best in us...working together to find hope, find solutions, express love.

I am amazed by the community I am in, those near and far, those on our street and across the globe, at how we are working together in this time.

My prayer...

"Lord, may the best in us continue to outgrow the crisis we face, the limits we endure and the pain we suffer as You work to bring a cure. Lord, release this curse from us, but leave it's blessing...a united humanity working in love."

Door's Howl review: A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

Synopsis

When I started watching this movie I thought it was a story about Mr Rogers. And it is...sort of. I also thought it was going to be a manifesto on kindness...and it is...sort of. What it actually is, is an episode of Mr Roger's Neighborhood tv show shot in a movie form. It deals with anger, and kindness and real events in the life of Mr Rogers.

The movie, based loosely on an Esquire article, chronicles the attempt to interview Mr Rogers by a hard hitting (some would say mean spirited) investigative journalist. As the story progresses, we learn of the reporter's failed relationship with his father who is dying. Real life events of Mr Rogers, retold for the movie, are captured in different settings or similar settings: people singing the theme song on the subway, the moment of silence for all those who have loved us into being.

As we watched the movie as a family, something interesting happened. What had been a chaotic night, with heightened tensions and raised voices, became a setting of serene calm and peace. The quietness of Tom Hanks portrayal of Mr Rogers, the pace of the movie, the rhythmic soundtrack and the power of the story all led to a dramatic change in our home.

As we begin the next period of school closings, social distancing and forced or self quarantines as a society, I think this movie has something to say to us: make people feel loved today. Express kindness, share love, pass on hope. And here's what I am seeing: more and more people are using the power of social media to provide support and help to each other. Offering help with rides, meals and food support for those in need, gratitude and care are growing in abundance.

Keep bringing the best of us out and Mr Roger's dream of a society wide neighborhood of care and love might just come true. Well done all...let's keep at it.

Score

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood scores a New Moon.

Scoring System

Wolves are thought to commonly howl at the moon. So, the better the moon, the greater the howl. Description of scoring system below.

Full Moon - best you can get, must watch and must own
New Moon - great movie, worth seeing and buying
Crescent Moon - average to above average, good to watch, but may want to wait for DVD
Sliver Moon - below average, not worth seeing and only get it on DVD when you have nothing better to do, like having a root canal
Moonless Night -not even worth mentioning - avoid at all costs!

COVID-19: Is this the new world?

Photo by CDC on Unsplash

Schools closed...events canceled...hospitals inundated...sports seasons suspended...shopping excess at grocery stores (toilet paper anyone)...social distancing...media flurries...travel bans...it reads like an apocalypse movie script.

Except it's all fact.

Is the COVID 19 impact the new normal in a new world?

Many believe it is.

But for me, this provides an opportunity...for the best in us to come out.

Here's what I mean...

We can care for each other in powerful ways as we face this crisis together. Here are some thoughts on how to do this:

• Guard your health: follow the advice of your PCP and CDC advisories. DON'T follow a meme on Facebook...many of them are inaccurate, and some are even dangerously wrong.
• Manage emotions: avoid being overwhelmed and limit media coverage that exacerbates your emotional mood. 
• Care for your neighbors: check on those near you, especially those who live alone or single parents with kids. Offer help, stay connected, express support.
• Share resources: Out of your excess share with those who lack.
• Respect the decisions of others: don't invade others choices to distance socially, or self quarantine.
• Don't discriminate: avoid assumptions based on race AND stand against discrimination of people. I have heard from people who have experienced profiling and discrimination first hand due to assumptions about the Coronavirus.
• Pray: if you are a person of faith, pray for the officials, medical personnel, those infected, those in fear, and those near you.
• Embrace the gift: for many people they are heading home due to closings and cancellations. Embrace the gift of downtime, if that's what you have. Be with your family, love each other, play games, watch movies, enjoy the rest.

We will emerge from this virus. The world may be different when we emerge, but we will emerge. There will be new restrictions, new vaccines, new ways of operating, new ways of traveling, but we are a resilient people who will find a way. We can do this together.

As a person of faith, and a pastor, I also believe this crisis gives us the opportunity to remember that there is Someone greater than a disease, a power greater than fear, and hope greater than death. A follower of Jesus from 2000 years ago realized this truth and wrote about it. His name was John, an apostle of Jesus, an eye witness to the life, death and resurrection of Jesus. Here's what he wrote almost 2000 years ago:

"God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear."

1 John 4:16-18 (NIV)

That Someone is Jesus

That Power is love

That Hope is life in Christ

In these coming days, let's make a new world based on these truths where  

...faith replaces fear.

...hope defeats despair

...community replaces isolation
...love conquers hate

Join me in creating this new world that defeats COVID-19

Unfeeling...is that a word?

Photo by Callum Skelton on Unsplash

Well...is it? 

Or is it more a description of an overload of emotions that leave you feeling adrift and numb. 

That's how I'm feeling after this week of political turmoil. 

I voted early, four days before the primary in MA. 

Who knew that four days later it would erupt into craziness. 

Within 24 hours two candidates withdrew (knowingly mocking my vote, but not personally). 

Super Tuesday was all over the place with two candidates claiming victories, while the two remaining women running were succinctly ignored. 

Then another male candidate dropped out

Then another female.

Now there are three candidates: one woman and two men.

However, the media is calling it a two person race. 

Since that candidate only has 2 delegates, it really is between the front runners.

The speed at which these candidates dropped out and endorsed previous opponents, has left me with "unfeeling". 

I am disappointed, but I don't know with whom. I don't know if its with the candidates who dropped out or the voting population who seems to choose white males over non white male candidates. I don't even know if it's about gender and sexism. Like I said, I don't know quite what I'm feeling.

The following is not an endorsement or critique of the Democratic Party or democratic views.

The 2020 Democratic Candidate list was one of the most diverse candidate lists I have seen in many election cycles. There was a vast range of ethnicities, genders, orientations, views and political plans. I found it fascinating, interesting and worth exploring. I was hoping for someone different, with perhaps fresh insights and solutions to guide and grow our country. One by one, for various reasons they have all dropped out and we are left with two front runners that seem to be a bit of the same old political past we have endured for some time. 

And I don't know how I feel about that. Unfeeling is what I feel...numb, surprised and unsurprised, disappointed and non-plussed, confused and understanding, but mostly, just empty...wishing for a change that will catapult us into a new age of the American dream.

But for now, it becomes a search for what works with yet another choice between two white males in the democratic party and then another choice between probably two white males for the presidency.

To the women candidates: Senator Amy Klobuchar, Representative Tulsi Gabbard, and Senators Kirsten Gillibrand, Elizabeth Warren, and Kamala Harris. Thank you for courageously stepping out and attempting to once again break that glass ceiling in America. Tulsi Gabbard, you are still fighting and I remind myself, there are three candidates for the democratic party, not two...even if that third candidate is very far behind.

When the Next Generation Teaches it Better

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Each Sunday our faith community gathers before service to pray and share. It's a time when our Family Ministry Director also shares the theme that the next generation is learning for that month. We call it our life app (based off the Orange Philosophy curriculum). She shares the theme and the one sentence description.

This month the theme is forgiveness. The one sentence description:

"Deciding that someone who has wronged you doesn't have to pay."

When she shared it, you could hear a pin drop...people visibly paused and began to think of the implications of that sentence. It hit me square between the eyes. Imagine if we could all forgive people who have wronged us, by deciding that they don't have to pay us anything.

It had such an effect, I asked her to repeat it. It has stuck with me all the time since then and this afternoon, as I was reflecting on it, I asked her for the exact wording because I wanted to share it here.

Like any of you, I have people who have wronged me. I'm trying to apply that sentence to my heart, mind and life today. I am trying to decide that they don't have to pay. I'm working through releasing them from the bondage of my self-righteousness. Because, the truth is, I'm the one in bondage.

I say "trying" because it's a hard thing to do. And as if God was underlining, bolding and italicizing it, we watched A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, which has a theme of learning to forgive too.

So, today I'm making a statement of commitment: I am deciding that those who have wronged me don't have to pay.

And I hope that those I have wronged might find the way to release me from having to pay too.

Our world needs more of this. I hope you can release those who have wronged you too.