Dear President Trump...

The dust is settling from the campaign...there are sights of jubilant people, celebration, shock, anger, fear and worry posted in tweets, snaps, photos, status updates and news reports. There is an air of uncertainty about the words you said during the campaign. Were they real? Did you mean them? Will you really do what you said you would? And at what cost? But, perhaps the biggest question is, what sort of president will you be?

May I offer a suggestion, but before I do, congratulations on your victory. What was spoken of in jest years ago has become a reality that many thought was never possible. You proved them, and me, wrong. I didn't vote for you, but you are now my president, and I will honor the democratic process, while at the same time, I will pursue my civil and spiritual duty in that process.

So that is why I offer a suggestion to you, that I hope you will take to heart.

Be a humble president.

I can hear those who would think I am crazy for suggesting that. I hope you won't think me crazy, but will rather take what I seriously and soberly. We need a humble president in our country and our world. It is the best place, and I believe, the only place to begin.

Recently I wrote a blog article about the race issues in our country, issues that your publicized rhetoric has sadly fueled and worsened rather than improved. I offered an opinion that humility on both sides was a necessary first step. I hope you will lead the charge in making that first step for us.

What we need and want in a president is someone who will live better than our ideals and not lower than our expectations. You can do that. I use humility because it is a virtue so often misunderstood, and sadly, not valued enough.

I follow a definition of humility coined by John Dickson, in his book Humilitas. He defines humility as the noble choice to forgo your status, deploy your resources and use your influence for the good of others before yourself. It is a practical definition that can be used well to guide you in your presidency. If I may be bold, here are some thoughts on how you can be humble. I don't expect you to succeed at this all the time. I fail at it often, even daily. But what a worthwhile goal to strive towards in being humble!

First, it is a noble choice. Not weak, not crazy or stupid. It is dignified, powerful and displays a virtue well displayed by your predecessor President Obama. Make that noble choice for ALL of us!

Second, forgo your status. You have been given the highest status in public service in our country. There are many titles and statuses that go with your new position of POTUS - commander in chief, signer of laws, one who appoints judges and more. The fullest one is that you are a public servant. Forgoing means not holding onto your status for your benefit, but using it for the benefit of others. Be a public servant...serve ALL the American people well by forgoing your status benefits and using them to help everyone improve. Since we live in a world where what happens across the globe impacts us here at home, you have the privilege and opportunity to forgo that status in the expense of serving humanity. Please, do it well. Status has been given to you Forgo it as a servant to ALL.

Third, deploy your resources. You have many resources in your private life. Now, your election has bestowed on you enough resources to help or destroy the world many times over. In your public life deploy your resources for the good of America and the world. You have many resources to deploy. Deploy them wisely, deploy them safely, deploy them for the good of many, not the benefit of the few.

Fourth, use your influence. One description of the president's power is that all he has are relationships and influence. But oh, what influence and what powerful relationships. You have the ability now to influence global markets, determine family prosperity for generations, unite or divide us as a country, plunge us into a world war or build a global village. You have that influence. You could use it for personal benefit, familial promotion or party aggrandizement OR you could use it for upliftment, empowerment and improvement for ALL.

I am not naive to the impossible task this presents, or to the past we have witnessed in this campaign. I prefer to ask you to be better than we expect. Avoid lowering the base part of who we are, resist reducing our rhetoric to sound bites and instead lift our hopes, raise our dreams and expand our vision.

Do more than make America great, make ALL of us great; a great race of humanity surging towards the best of what we are created to be.

Be humble Mr President.

Make that your legacy.

God bless you.

God bless us all.

A Piece of Ground

The killing continues.

Yet another news report of police killing a black man. It's unacceptable!

We have a race problem in our country. It is difficult, nuanced, confusing, saddening, infuriating and complicated...and it needs to stop.

The "race problem" is just one of many problems in our country that needs addressing. it represents just one symptom of a larger issue that we all face - how we deal with power. The same problem is reflected in other issues, like The Gender Struggle.

The Race struggle and The Gender struggle are similar, but not the same. The "boys will be boys" reflection of the rape culture in our country, the degradation of women and their continued oppression in the workforce, in churches, in education and in larger society reflects a similar struggle with the race issue in America. It is not unique to our country. This same problem of dealing with power exists around our world. The group with power exerts their power over the group without power in ways that are dehumanizing, degrading and debilitating. History teaches us that when you continually remove the voice of the oppressed, violence becomes a natural outcome to the oppressed. This is not to say violence is acceptable by any means, but when all other means of protest are removed, overthrow of the majority power becomes the only way forward. Sadly, many overthrows reverse the power dynamic but don't solve the problem. They just replicate it!

So, when people respond with criticism, judgment and death threats to Colin Kaepernick and others taking a knee in protest, they silence a means of protesting an injustice. In so doing, they remove another voice of non-violence leading to what feels like an inevitable conclusion which we saw play out in Charlotte, North Carolina this week.

This conclusion is hinted at in an old song sung by Miriam Makeba and written by Jeremy Taylor about the race struggle in South Africa during the Apartheid era. It's called A Piece of Ground. The last verse reads as a warning:

White man don't sleep long and don't sleep too deep
Or your life and your possessions, how long will you keep
For I've heard a rumor that's running around
That the black man's demanding his own piece of ground
His own piece of ground.

When Kaepernick kneels...
When unarmed black men raise their hands when confronted by police...
When people march with slogans and upraised hands...
When black people die in the streets for doing what is normal...
When Standing Rock Sioux tribe stop a pipeline...

It is a protest demanding a piece of ground that is rightfully theirs. A piece of ground stolen from them by oppressors.

The oppression needs to stop!

This is my attempt to begin that process.We need to find a way to address this power struggle and find ways forward where power is shared, and the oppressed become free. There are many ways to do this, in personal and corporate ways. The key is to begin. The road is hard, filled with missteps, mistakes, and setbacks. But begin we must, because the cycle of abuse of power needs to stop.


An Attempted Scope of the Problem

Below is an attempt to provide a scope of the problem. First a disclaimer. I am not a professor of ethics, or an expert on race relations or any of those things. I freely admit my own lack of knowledge in this space. So this attempt is to open a dialogue. I want your feedback and your engagement. I am open to criticism, feedback, dialogue and input. I want to learn...together with you how to overcome this cycle and put an end to oppression of people whether it be by race, gender, orientation or other labels meant to create separation.

1. Own your story

Color blind is not the way to be. We each have a story of who we are, and that story includes our color. Own it. Share it. Make sense of it. For those wondering, I am a white, married male with two sons. I grew up in South Africa during Apartheid years and now live in America. I am white, privileged and imbued with power I did not earn. My suffering pails in comparison to the day to day degradation of those who are not white males. Knowing where I am in the cycle helps me know what I need to do. Owning your story is a good step. To own your story, you need to know it.

2. Define the goal

Part of the problem I believe we face in the race struggle and other issues related to power is that the goal is unclear. What does success look like in order to win this fight? I know the quick answer is equality but what does that look like. For example, some would claim that women are equal to men in our society today because women can vote or women can work or women can lead etc. Whenever the metric they have decided is the struggles goal has been met, equality is assumed and success is declared. But ask most women today if they feel equality has been met and you will find disagreement. The same is true for the Race Struggle, LGBTQ struggle and other power struggles.

A large part of this is because the people with power are the ones deciding what the goal for success is. Seldom is the goal set by the oppressed. So, a necessary step for us to succeed is defining the goal of success. That definition must include and in many cases be led and decided by the oppressed, not the oppressor.

3. Understand The Privilege and Guilt of Power

White privilge, Male Privilege, or another other form of privilege needs to be understood. My wife and I have begun a series of discussions with our boys using movies and news as a launching point to talk to our boys about the privilege they have. For example, we discussed the freedom they have to walk on the streets, and not be stopped by police because they are white. They could not understand it at first until we explained the sometimes daily experience of black children being stopped and questioned for no explicit reason other than being black and profiled as a potential threat.

There are ways to discover privilege and we need to learn about those. There are classes to take, books to read, people to talk to about what sort of privilege you have.

There also needs to be a caution from operating out of power guilt. For example, much is written about white guilt and how it subverts and damages the struggle to overcome racism. Power guilt does not help the process and needs to be understood and overcome too.

4. Understand The Victimization and Victimhood of Powerlessness

I use the term "victimhood" in two ways. The first way is to understand how the powerless are victimized for being who they are. Blacks being stopped for being black is one example. Women being sexualized is another. This means listening intently as a person of privilege and courage as a person of oppression. It means finding the ways to talk and learn from each other. 

The second way I use the term victimhood is for the oppressed person to resist the urge to allow their oppression to be used by them to gain privilege. I say this hesitantly, because as a person of power I do not, dare I say should not, be declaring what the oppressed do or don't do. Rather I will let Booker T. Washington speak to what I mean from his book My Larger Education:

“There is another class of coloured people who make a business of keeping the troubles, the wrongs and the hardships of the Negro race before the public. Having learned that they are able to make a living out of their troubles, they have grown into the settled habit of advertising their wrongs – partly because they want sympathy and partly because it pays. Some of these people do not want the Negro to lose his grievances, because they do not want to lose their jobs.” (p. 118)

Victimization and Victimhood must both be understood in our efforts to overcome the power struggles in our world.

5. Understand The Relationship Between Power and Powerlessness

Of course, knowing your place in the struggle is only a step. Knowing the relationship between these states and how they enforce, reinforce, influence, depend on, and can dismantle one another is essential to moving forward. This means talking together...a lot. It means hard uncomfortable conversations where anger, hurt, grievance, forgiveness and pain are all possible. But its worth it because it means we can find a way forward.

6. Education

As we learn together about our stories, the goal, the relationship of power and powerlessness we can begin to educate each other on a way forward. Once the education begins, now we can begin to discuss strategies and solutions, tactics and programs. Without the earlier foundations, misunderstanding will happen. Even with the foundations, misunderstanding will happen. My point in talking about education here, is not to learn our stories, or the issues of power and powerlessness but instead for us to begin the process if educating ourselves around solutions and strategies for success. When the powerless are able to speak into the situation and the powerful are able to listen, education of solutions can begin. Sadly, many programs on race relations don't get this far. We cannot rush to solutions, but when we get to this space it is amazing to see how solutions can grab hold and make a difference. 

7. Engagement

After education comes engagement. This means action...taking a knee, raising a fist, standing in silence, casting the vote and a hundred other potential action steps that could be made. Engagement takes courage. Engagement takes effort. Engagement takes commitment. But, we can do it.

8. Evaluation

Of course, evaluating our progress, admitting setbacks and failures, and celebrating successes is essential. We need to constantly evaluate our work because we tend to slide towards division not unity. Power is insidious and creeps always towards oppression of the "other". Evaluation means looking back at what we've achieved and seeing how to do better. It means looking at the now and seeing if we need to course correct. It means looking at the future to watch out for future failures and regressions.

A First Step - Humility

This far too lengthy blog ends with what I believe is a first step...humility. I will blog about what I mean by this in a future post, but humility I believe is the first step that needs to be taken to begin this scope. Humility is the key to knowing your story and then owning your story.

So, let's begin...tell me what you think.

Back from Break

I took the summer off from writing. It has been good to rest.

I have lots of ideas and thoughts popping that I hope to write about in time. So, all that to say...more to come. Fall is here, summer is riding off into the sunset and the busy season begins.

Despite attempts to limit activities it would seem our boys are doing scouts, soccer, flag football, and piano. Not too mention school work, normal kid life and a bunch of other activities. But, their life is full and they are learning skills and character traits that will help them in life.

As for me, my attempts to get fit and get rest seem to have engaged in convolution to stop me coming back from break by breaking my back. As I hobble around the office, or day to day tasks, I look like my personal assessment describes - 80 years old! 40 is the new 80 for me it would seem.

Well...here's to painkillers and walking taller in the future.

So, fall...let's see what you bring! I look forward to it.

The Limp

In recent days a few people I know have declared they are no longer Christian. For various reasons they have decided that calling Jesus Lord is not for them. Each person would easily have been described by others as a mature believer. So their departure is surprising to me and has made me reflect on my own work as a pastor of Spiritual Growth.

My friendships with each of these people is not in question. My commitment to them as friends and my love for them as people does not change, no matter their decision about Jesus.

As a pastor though, I consider my work and wonder how I might have failed them. I wonder what we might be doing in our groups at church, or in my work of growing people spiritually that is leaving them disillusioned at this stage of life. I don't for one moment think of myself or the work I do with a savior complex. But I do think of what might be missing in how I communicate the growth of a Christian.

For too many people, growth seems to be communicated as a series of providential successes. Sin is overcome, God's blessings pour out, there is an abundance of joy and blessing and revelation. Unfortunately, this is often tied to the physical and emotional realm and health of a person. Bank accounts grow as they give generously, they live in emotional peace and health. Churches, inadvertently or intentionally, even make these promises about being in relationship with Jesus.

BUT...

These people show me another side of Christianity...the side the mystics and ancient followers know all too well, but is seldom preached and communicated. It is the side of Christianity where we seek God and struggle to find him; where we ask him for answers, and struggle to hear them; where, if we were more honest, we would discover that God feels so silent we doubt if he even exists.

This stage is where some walk away from the faith, others live in the struggle, some break through to whatever is next.

I believe that this stage of the faith is what Robert Guelich and Janet Hagberg call "The Wall" in their book The Critical Journey. They describe it as the stage of faith where you encounter a difficulty that blocks your future progression. It is a wall stopping you moving forward. The wall represents "...our will meeting God's will face to face." (The Critical Journey, pg 114). What worked for us previously (serving, giving, going to church, being in a small group, reading the Bible) all seems to not work anymore. We discover that our previous attempts feel hollow because they were at the root of it OUR attempts to find God. The wall represents an obstacle to the next stages of spiritual growth, where we no longer make it about OUR effort and instead WAIT on God to reveal himself to us in HIS way and HIS time. It embodies a new type of surrender to whatever God wants of us, including suffering, hardship, struggle, pain and death. There is the psychological death of self, and then physical death.

It is this second journey that I see in the writers of the New Testament. Peter came to this wall in his life, and after working through it, his life was a succession of persecution, hardship and pain ending in martyrdom. Paul went through the same struggle, part of it captured in his famous "thorn of the flesh" writing in 2 Corinthians 12, finally ending in martyrdom too. These writers, who speak of joy and contentment and love so eloquently, lived lives of pain, hardship, suffering and death.

I shouldn't be surprised at my friends struggles. It's the next stage of growth in a relationship with Christ. But I am surprised and sad. Yet, if they could face that wall they would find God on the other side. But not the God of their younger days. Not this small God so many people speak about these days...a God who gives blessings, success and benefits because we jump through the right hoops. I call that God small because we make him sound easily manipulated. We make him sound like a God who, if I jump through hoops of church attendance, bible reading, praying then he will give me what I want or need.

God is bigger than that, and like a child who discovers their parents aren't the idealized version they thought, so as we grow we discover that God is bigger than we thought and OUR view of God has flaws and errors. God doesn't want us to jump through hoops to get to him, but he doesn't want us to make him jump through hoops either.

It's a wrestle with doubt, and like Jacob who wrestled with God, we don't leave the same...sometimes we get a limp.

How Low Can You Go!

"Let us study the character of Christ so that our souls may be filled with love and admiration for his lowliness" Andrew Murray - Humility

At a recent retreat the leader introduced me to this quote by Andrew Murray. It made me sit up and take notice when I first heard it, it has since made me rethink much of how I approach Jesus, and how others might perceive me and Him. This, together with a sermon series by Andy Stanley called Brand: New, has shaken my world - personally and professionally.

The series by Andy Stanley has caused me to change my life verse from Luke 5:5 to Galatians 5:6. The last half of that verse says: The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. In it, Andy Stanley presents a solid, hard and severe critique of the church today. His critique is that the church seems to have lost it's way focusing more on intellectual agreement and rituals rather than loving God BY loving those around us.

I agree with him.

The easiest critique of "love" is that it seems over-simplified and weak in application. Andy's response to this left me thinking long and hard. His response is that it is far less complicated and far more demanding. It is easy - remember one thing - what does love require in a given situation. But it is far more demanding because what love required of Jesus is that he give up heaven and die for us. Die for me!

That brings me back to the quote by Andrew Murray. Jesus chose lowliness, servanthood, humility as the way to show his love. Andrew Murray challenged me that I should do the same. I've thought long and hard about that sentence and the last word. There are many words I might have put at the end of that sentence:

"Let us study the character of Christ so that our souls may be filled with love and admiration for his majesty"

"Let us study the character of Christ so that our souls may be filled with love and admiration for his glory"

"Let us study the character of Christ so that our souls may be filled with love and admiration for his power"

"Let us study the character of Christ so that our souls may be filled with love and admiration for his grace"

And more...but Murray spoke that sentence about lowliness, about service and humility.

Surely, those who call Jesus Lord are the ones who exemplify this same attitude - one of love and humility? Sadly no.  Far too often those who call Jesus Lord live with the attitude of judgment and superiority. Or, at the very least, they are seen as acting that way. Either way, the end result is the same. People are turned away from Jesus, instead of attracted to him. They reject Him because of His followers attitudes rather than accepting him because of their love. Of course, this is not entirely true and there are many who do this right! But far too often, far too regularly, those not in the Christian church see the Christian church as judgmental and negative.

What was a grassroots movement that was so pervasive in its love that it attracted thousands every day, has become something formulaic and repugnant to the very people it's trying to reach.

Sadly, I look at my own life and see that I have far too often lived with that same wrong attitude.

But it's time for a change...it's time for what Paul calls "the only thing" to take root in my life like never before. Consider that phrase for a moment...Paul says, the only thing...THE ONLY THING...that counts is faith expressing itself through love.

So...what does this mean for me personally and for the work I do in Spiritual Growth at Faith Community.

For me personally 

• A re-evaluation of how I speak, think, and act towards others. 
• A measurement of whether my love quotient at the end of the day has increased or decreased.
• An assessment of whether I left each person I've encountered in my day experiencing more love from me or less.

For the Spiritual Growth Ministry a simple question to the leaders of the small groups I oversee:

• Are you displaying the lowliness of Christ in your leadership?

And for the members of those groups:

• Are your groups communities of love?

These might be closed questions but they beg the follow up of how. How will you develop that lowliness as a leader? How will your group become a community of love? That is where the far less complicated command from Jesus to love one another becomes a far more demanding day to day lifestyle.

So I ask you a favor:

Pray for me and I'll pray for you - that LOVE shown in LOWLINESS becomes the experience of our day to day lives.

Safety

Safety is a major concern these days.

It's in the top three, if not the top question parents ask about new places they go to with their children. Beyond having fun or learning parents as, "Will my child be safe?"

Sadly, women have to ask this question far more than they should. It angers me to no end that women cannot move, work, walk or live in assumed safety.

With the current election climate and the recent comments by Donal Trump, safety for the country and world is a growing concern for me. I lived through the nuclear threats of the cold war as a child. I don't relish going back to those days of impending nuclear blast. I know that nuclear proliferation is a problem and that bio-terrorism is even a larger threat. That's why I want cool heads in leadership, not hot heads.

Safety is a major concern these days!

Safe Haven

A harbor or haven by definition is supposed to be a safe place for ships to gather. But in 1699, Richard Bentley in his work A Dissertation Upon the Epistles of Phalaris said" She must not make to the next safe Harbour; but...bear away for the remotest."

And so a phrase was coined. A phrase that today even has legal features meaning a protection from liability or penalty.

It might seem redundant to say safe haven (because it literally means a safe safe place!), but the phrase sticks and even has some truth today. Why? Because not all havens are safe!

Enough about history though...the real question is - where is your safe haven.

Life today is fraught with danger - danger in places where there shouldn't be.

• Home - supposedly a safe place but the amount of abuse and hardship found there is far too common
• Work - a place of significance and satisfaction but dangerous for many
• Church - a place of hope but one where hope is far too easily stolen

The list could go on...but I think we need to reclaim these places. Homes should be places of love and care and we should be people who fill our own homes with love and help others do the same. Work should be a place of satisfaction and accomplishment, so we should work to make this possible for everyone. Church should be a place of hope, so we should preach and live out that hope for others to experience.

So where to start...well...where you are! Commit to building places of love, satisfaction and hope. Then we will see safe havens in every area of our lives.

For Small Group Leaders

Since I lead a ministry of small group leaders at my church - we call them Faith Groups, I find that this concept is one we teach and train on often - making groups a safe place.

Your small group, if you are in one, should be a safe haven in life. It is the place where all three of the areas listed above intersect: home, work and church. It should be a safe haven for everyone who comes. I know they fail at this sometimes - people are broken. But still, we need to strive for making them safe. So, small group leaders - how can you make your small groups safe havens?

People are counting on us getting it right.  How do you do it?

Let me know in the comments!

Goodbye

Goodbyes suck...

From friends at airports, to first loves, and next loves, to satisfying jobs and valued partnerships, to the final goodbye of death.

Goodbyes suck...

Even when they're right, healthy and appropriate.

Goodbyes suck...

Smoke

Have you ever tried to get rid of smoke in your home? Like when you're making pizza and some cheese falls on the bottom of the oven and before you know it, acrid smoke is pouring into your home. Ever tried to get rid of it?

It's frustrating and pointless if you do it the wrong way. If you waft a cutting board, or put on a fan, even open a window...it sometimes has the wrong effect, and usually takes far longer to remove than you think. The funny thing is, if you become more intense in your efforts, if you waft stronger, or put the fan on higher, it doesn't make it quicker...sometimes, it just makes it harder and worse. And of course, tiring for you!

Recently, I was struck by the realization that some people are like smoke. No...I don't mean smelly, annoying and won't leave. Rather, I mean that there are people who, if you treat them the wrong way, you have the opposite effect on them than you intended. Instead of one reaction, they react differently than you hope, and if you get more intense about it, their reaction can be harder.

Working with "smoke-like" people in your life takes great skill...something I'm not particularly good at really. These are people who need love expressed in a different way. They want love in a gentle, soft and collaborative manner rather than direct and forceful manner. In fact, they might view forceful and direct as coercive and negatively manipulative.

With this realization about "smoke-like" people, I started thinking about those who are good with smoke. There are people who know how to blow smoke rings, or create beauty with smoke (just google "smoke art" for some amazing work). There are others who know how to weave smoke into their lives and activities (e.g. Native American, Chinese and Boy Scouts practices of smoke signals). These are people who are masters of gentleness and collaboration. They are masters at working with smoke. In life, there are those who are masters at working with "smoke-like" people.

Here's the point - we need "smoke-like" people in our lives. The gifts and beauty they bring create joy and beauty in our lives. Their gifts are rare and worth pursuing and enjoying. Their friendship is different than others and we are the better for it when we have it. But...the challenge with these sorts of people is that we can blow them away if we handle the friendship incorrectly. We can destroy them with the wrong approach.

And yet, when we get it right, there is great art in our relational lives - a beauty unmatched.

So how can we nurture relationships with "smoke-like"people?

I don't know!

But the masters of smoke do the following:

• they are gentle with smoke allowing it to flow around them
• they don't try to control or capture it
• they understand how to look for smoke and read its signs
• they value the time they have with smoke and learn all they can
• they enjoy the beauty it creates

Here's my best guess then at transferring this to nurturing a relationship with a "smoke-like" person:

• Don't force them to do things.
• Work gently with them in a collaboration allowing them to flow around what you do.
• Learn to read their signs of engagement and withdrawal and allow them to have those.
• Value them in your life.
• Enjoy the beauty of your relationship.

If you run a group of any kind (work, small group, book club, etc) then welcome "smoke-like" people into your group. Beware of forcing them into behaviors or conditions (like a covenant). Be gentle in engaging with them, and allow them space to withdraw if they want to do so. Value them and their contribution and enjoy the beauty of their perspective and contribution.

Torpedo

I recently was at a retreat in Rhode Island. The place we stayed was on an small outcrop called Goat Island. It used to be a naval torpedo production and testing site. The hotel where I stayed was filled with pictures of torpedoes being tested, built, retrieved and evaluated. It got me thinking about the metaphor of torpedoes and ships.

In life we are sometimes torpedoes and ships.

Like ships, we go through life moving towards a destination. Sometimes, it is slow and stately (like the big cruise ships), sometimes fast and thrilling (like speedboats), and other times just weighed down as we move through our routines (like cargo ships).

Like torpedoes, sometimes we are on a mission, focused and undeterred as we hurtle towards our target. That focus maybe towards a destructive end (for us or others), or it may in an attempt to avoid greater destruction (like stopping a ship intent on causing greater harm).

There are positives and negatives in both metaphors.

Torpedo like behavior can be positive:

• Stopping a bad idea in its tracks
• Being focused and on mission
• Dealing with a bad habit or addiction

Torpedo like behavior can be negative:

• Damaging good relationships 
• Being so focused on a mission that you forget about the important things in life (loved ones especially)
• Moving so fast in a straight line that you cannot adapt to the changing situation

Ship like behavior can be positive:

• Moving towards a chosen destination with purpose and planning
• Providing means for others to get there with you
• Sheer enjoyment and fun in life

Ship like behavior can be negative:

• Vulnerable to outside attack
• Swayed by currents and winds too easily
• Without power, you can drift off course

So what are you in life - a ship or a torpedo? More importantly, is that the right thing to be for this season of life?

And of course...its the worst thing to be a torpedo when you need to be a ship and be a ship when you need to be a torpedo!

Golden Globes Apathy

Yes I watched the Globes! No, I don't care about the clothing. It's just fun to see the awards. But I was struck by something last night...more than one celebrity (either introducing an award or receiving it) commented on how unimportant the award is in the greater scheme of things.

Ricky Gervais ridiculed them.
Jim Carrey scorned them.
Morgan Freeman asked for applause to stop as it gives the wrong impression.
Ryan Gosling mentioned a Montessori experience of everyone winning a participation trophy.
These stood out among others.

Yet, there they were, waiting on the announcements, thanking their people when they won. Some with shock (Kate Winslet truly was surprised), others with expectant humility (Leonardo Dicaprio was excellent in his speech), and others with genuine joy and welcome (Sylvester Stallone was well received with a standing ovation as a winner).

If these awards are so unimportant, why all the emotion? I think partly, because people love to win. People like the competition. People like to be inspired to more. As Ridley Scott said about his movie (it did well, but then along came Star Wars, and it raised the bar of what we might achieve).

Awards seem to get ridiculed on both fronts (people don't like the participation trophies - even a commercial makes fun of them), but people don't like the negative competition they create either. So in one respect...the Globes echoed real life last night - apart from the obvious ways it doesn't!

As for me...I like awards...real awards for achieving something significant.When people perform, or better yet, outperform, awards bring that recognition. It is far more meaningful when that award is given by your peers. And the sweetest recognition is when it comes as a surprise to even you!

So who is outperforming in your life...give them an award...it doesn't have to be a golden statue to be significant!