I took the summer off from writing. It has been good to rest.
I have lots of ideas and thoughts popping that I hope to write about in time. So, all that to say...more to come. Fall is here, summer is riding off into the sunset and the busy season begins.
Despite attempts to limit activities it would seem our boys are doing scouts, soccer, flag football, and piano. Not too mention school work, normal kid life and a bunch of other activities. But, their life is full and they are learning skills and character traits that will help them in life.
As for me, my attempts to get fit and get rest seem to have engaged in convolution to stop me coming back from break by breaking my back. As I hobble around the office, or day to day tasks, I look like my personal assessment describes - 80 years old! 40 is the new 80 for me it would seem.
Well...here's to painkillers and walking taller in the future.
So, fall...let's see what you bring! I look forward to it.
Saturday, September 10, 2016
Thursday, July 7, 2016
The Limp
In recent days a few people I know have declared they are no longer Christian. For various reasons they have decided that calling Jesus Lord is not for them. Each person would easily have been described by others as a mature believer. So their departure is surprising to me and has made me reflect on my own work as a pastor of Spiritual Growth.
My friendships with each of these people is not in question. My commitment to them as friends and my love for them as people does not change, no matter their decision about Jesus.
As a pastor though, I consider my work and wonder how I might have failed them. I wonder what we might be doing in our groups at church, or in my work of growing people spiritually that is leaving them disillusioned at this stage of life. I don't for one moment think of myself or the work I do with a savior complex. But I do think of what might be missing in how I communicate the growth of a Christian.
For too many people, growth seems to be communicated as a series of providential successes. Sin is overcome, God's blessings pour out, there is an abundance of joy and blessing and revelation. Unfortunately, this is often tied to the physical and emotional realm and health of a person. Bank accounts grow as they give generously, they live in emotional peace and health. Churches, inadvertently or intentionally, even make these promises about being in relationship with Jesus.
BUT...
These people show me another side of Christianity...the side the mystics and ancient followers know all too well, but is seldom preached and communicated. It is the side of Christianity where we seek God and struggle to find him; where we ask him for answers, and struggle to hear them; where, if we were more honest, we would discover that God feels so silent we doubt if he even exists.
This stage is where some walk away from the faith, others live in the struggle, some break through to whatever is next.
I believe that this stage of the faith is what Robert Guelich and Janet Hagberg call "The Wall" in their book The Critical Journey. They describe it as the stage of faith where you encounter a difficulty that blocks your future progression. It is a wall stopping you moving forward. The wall represents "...our will meeting God's will face to face." (The Critical Journey, pg 114). What worked for us previously (serving, giving, going to church, being in a small group, reading the Bible) all seems to not work anymore. We discover that our previous attempts feel hollow because they were at the root of it OUR attempts to find God. The wall represents an obstacle to the next stages of spiritual growth, where we no longer make it about OUR effort and instead WAIT on God to reveal himself to us in HIS way and HIS time. It embodies a new type of surrender to whatever God wants of us, including suffering, hardship, struggle, pain and death. There is the psychological death of self, and then physical death.
It is this second journey that I see in the writers of the New Testament. Peter came to this wall in his life, and after working through it, his life was a succession of persecution, hardship and pain ending in martyrdom. Paul went through the same struggle, part of it captured in his famous "thorn of the flesh" writing in 2 Corinthians 12, finally ending in martyrdom too. These writers, who speak of joy and contentment and love so eloquently, lived lives of pain, hardship, suffering and death.
I shouldn't be surprised at my friends struggles. It's the next stage of growth in a relationship with Christ. But I am surprised and sad. Yet, if they could face that wall they would find God on the other side. But not the God of their younger days. Not this small God so many people speak about these days...a God who gives blessings, success and benefits because we jump through the right hoops. I call that God small because we make him sound easily manipulated. We make him sound like a God who, if I jump through hoops of church attendance, bible reading, praying then he will give me what I want or need.
God is bigger than that, and like a child who discovers their parents aren't the idealized version they thought, so as we grow we discover that God is bigger than we thought and OUR view of God has flaws and errors. God doesn't want us to jump through hoops to get to him, but he doesn't want us to make him jump through hoops either.
It's a wrestle with doubt, and like Jacob who wrestled with God, we don't leave the same...sometimes we get a limp.
My friendships with each of these people is not in question. My commitment to them as friends and my love for them as people does not change, no matter their decision about Jesus.
As a pastor though, I consider my work and wonder how I might have failed them. I wonder what we might be doing in our groups at church, or in my work of growing people spiritually that is leaving them disillusioned at this stage of life. I don't for one moment think of myself or the work I do with a savior complex. But I do think of what might be missing in how I communicate the growth of a Christian.
For too many people, growth seems to be communicated as a series of providential successes. Sin is overcome, God's blessings pour out, there is an abundance of joy and blessing and revelation. Unfortunately, this is often tied to the physical and emotional realm and health of a person. Bank accounts grow as they give generously, they live in emotional peace and health. Churches, inadvertently or intentionally, even make these promises about being in relationship with Jesus.
BUT...
These people show me another side of Christianity...the side the mystics and ancient followers know all too well, but is seldom preached and communicated. It is the side of Christianity where we seek God and struggle to find him; where we ask him for answers, and struggle to hear them; where, if we were more honest, we would discover that God feels so silent we doubt if he even exists.
This stage is where some walk away from the faith, others live in the struggle, some break through to whatever is next.
I believe that this stage of the faith is what Robert Guelich and Janet Hagberg call "The Wall" in their book The Critical Journey. They describe it as the stage of faith where you encounter a difficulty that blocks your future progression. It is a wall stopping you moving forward. The wall represents "...our will meeting God's will face to face." (The Critical Journey, pg 114). What worked for us previously (serving, giving, going to church, being in a small group, reading the Bible) all seems to not work anymore. We discover that our previous attempts feel hollow because they were at the root of it OUR attempts to find God. The wall represents an obstacle to the next stages of spiritual growth, where we no longer make it about OUR effort and instead WAIT on God to reveal himself to us in HIS way and HIS time. It embodies a new type of surrender to whatever God wants of us, including suffering, hardship, struggle, pain and death. There is the psychological death of self, and then physical death.
It is this second journey that I see in the writers of the New Testament. Peter came to this wall in his life, and after working through it, his life was a succession of persecution, hardship and pain ending in martyrdom. Paul went through the same struggle, part of it captured in his famous "thorn of the flesh" writing in 2 Corinthians 12, finally ending in martyrdom too. These writers, who speak of joy and contentment and love so eloquently, lived lives of pain, hardship, suffering and death.
I shouldn't be surprised at my friends struggles. It's the next stage of growth in a relationship with Christ. But I am surprised and sad. Yet, if they could face that wall they would find God on the other side. But not the God of their younger days. Not this small God so many people speak about these days...a God who gives blessings, success and benefits because we jump through the right hoops. I call that God small because we make him sound easily manipulated. We make him sound like a God who, if I jump through hoops of church attendance, bible reading, praying then he will give me what I want or need.
God is bigger than that, and like a child who discovers their parents aren't the idealized version they thought, so as we grow we discover that God is bigger than we thought and OUR view of God has flaws and errors. God doesn't want us to jump through hoops to get to him, but he doesn't want us to make him jump through hoops either.
It's a wrestle with doubt, and like Jacob who wrestled with God, we don't leave the same...sometimes we get a limp.
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
How Low Can You Go!
"Let us study the character of Christ so that our souls may be filled with love and admiration for his lowliness" Andrew Murray - Humility
At a recent retreat the leader introduced me to this quote by Andrew Murray. It made me sit up and take notice when I first heard it, it has since made me rethink much of how I approach Jesus, and how others might perceive me and Him. This, together with a sermon series by Andy Stanley called Brand: New, has shaken my world - personally and professionally.
The series by Andy Stanley has caused me to change my life verse from Luke 5:5 to Galatians 5:6. The last half of that verse says: The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. In it, Andy Stanley presents a solid, hard and severe critique of the church today. His critique is that the church seems to have lost it's way focusing more on intellectual agreement and rituals rather than loving God BY loving those around us.
I agree with him.
The easiest critique of "love" is that it seems over-simplified and weak in application. Andy's response to this left me thinking long and hard. His response is that it is far less complicated and far more demanding. It is easy - remember one thing - what does love require in a given situation. But it is far more demanding because what love required of Jesus is that he give up heaven and die for us. Die for me!
That brings me back to the quote by Andrew Murray. Jesus chose lowliness, servanthood, humility as the way to show his love. Andrew Murray challenged me that I should do the same. I've thought long and hard about that sentence and the last word. There are many words I might have put at the end of that sentence:
"Let us study the character of Christ so that our souls may be filled with love and admiration for his majesty"
"Let us study the character of Christ so that our souls may be filled with love and admiration for his glory"
"Let us study the character of Christ so that our souls may be filled with love and admiration for his power"
"Let us study the character of Christ so that our souls may be filled with love and admiration for his grace"
And more...but Murray spoke that sentence about lowliness, about service and humility.
Surely, those who call Jesus Lord are the ones who exemplify this same attitude - one of love and humility? Sadly no. Far too often those who call Jesus Lord live with the attitude of judgment and superiority. Or, at the very least, they are seen as acting that way. Either way, the end result is the same. People are turned away from Jesus, instead of attracted to him. They reject Him because of His followers attitudes rather than accepting him because of their love. Of course, this is not entirely true and there are many who do this right! But far too often, far too regularly, those not in the Christian church see the Christian church as judgmental and negative.
What was a grassroots movement that was so pervasive in its love that it attracted thousands every day, has become something formulaic and repugnant to the very people it's trying to reach.
Sadly, I look at my own life and see that I have far too often lived with that same wrong attitude.
But it's time for a change...it's time for what Paul calls "the only thing" to take root in my life like never before. Consider that phrase for a moment...Paul says, the only thing...THE ONLY THING...that counts is faith expressing itself through love.
So...what does this mean for me personally and for the work I do in Spiritual Growth at Faith Community.
For me personally
At a recent retreat the leader introduced me to this quote by Andrew Murray. It made me sit up and take notice when I first heard it, it has since made me rethink much of how I approach Jesus, and how others might perceive me and Him. This, together with a sermon series by Andy Stanley called Brand: New, has shaken my world - personally and professionally.
The series by Andy Stanley has caused me to change my life verse from Luke 5:5 to Galatians 5:6. The last half of that verse says: The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. In it, Andy Stanley presents a solid, hard and severe critique of the church today. His critique is that the church seems to have lost it's way focusing more on intellectual agreement and rituals rather than loving God BY loving those around us.
I agree with him.
The easiest critique of "love" is that it seems over-simplified and weak in application. Andy's response to this left me thinking long and hard. His response is that it is far less complicated and far more demanding. It is easy - remember one thing - what does love require in a given situation. But it is far more demanding because what love required of Jesus is that he give up heaven and die for us. Die for me!
That brings me back to the quote by Andrew Murray. Jesus chose lowliness, servanthood, humility as the way to show his love. Andrew Murray challenged me that I should do the same. I've thought long and hard about that sentence and the last word. There are many words I might have put at the end of that sentence:
"Let us study the character of Christ so that our souls may be filled with love and admiration for his majesty"
"Let us study the character of Christ so that our souls may be filled with love and admiration for his glory"
"Let us study the character of Christ so that our souls may be filled with love and admiration for his power"
"Let us study the character of Christ so that our souls may be filled with love and admiration for his grace"
And more...but Murray spoke that sentence about lowliness, about service and humility.
Surely, those who call Jesus Lord are the ones who exemplify this same attitude - one of love and humility? Sadly no. Far too often those who call Jesus Lord live with the attitude of judgment and superiority. Or, at the very least, they are seen as acting that way. Either way, the end result is the same. People are turned away from Jesus, instead of attracted to him. They reject Him because of His followers attitudes rather than accepting him because of their love. Of course, this is not entirely true and there are many who do this right! But far too often, far too regularly, those not in the Christian church see the Christian church as judgmental and negative.
What was a grassroots movement that was so pervasive in its love that it attracted thousands every day, has become something formulaic and repugnant to the very people it's trying to reach.
Sadly, I look at my own life and see that I have far too often lived with that same wrong attitude.
But it's time for a change...it's time for what Paul calls "the only thing" to take root in my life like never before. Consider that phrase for a moment...Paul says, the only thing...THE ONLY THING...that counts is faith expressing itself through love.
So...what does this mean for me personally and for the work I do in Spiritual Growth at Faith Community.
For me personally
- A re-evaluation of how I speak, think, and act towards others.
- A measurement of whether my love quotient at the end of the day has increased or decreased.
- An assessment of whether I left each person I've encountered in my day experiencing more love from me or less.
For the Spiritual Growth Ministry a simple question to the leaders of the small groups I oversee:
- Are you displaying the lowliness of Christ in your leadership?
And for the members of those groups:
- Are your groups communities of love?
These might be closed questions but they beg the follow up of how. How will you develop that lowliness as a leader? How will your group become a community of love? That is where the far less complicated command from Jesus to love one another becomes a far more demanding day to day lifestyle.
So I ask you a favor:
Pray for me and I'll pray for you - that LOVE shown in LOWLINESS becomes the experience of our day to day lives.
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
Safety
Safety is a major concern these days.
It's in the top three, if not the top question parents ask about new places they go to with their children. Beyond having fun or learning parents as, "Will my child be safe?"
Sadly, women have to ask this question far more than they should. It angers me to no end that women cannot move, work, walk or live in assumed safety.
With the current election climate and the recent comments by Donal Trump, safety for the country and world is a growing concern for me. I lived through the nuclear threats of the cold war as a child. I don't relish going back to those days of impending nuclear blast. I know that nuclear proliferation is a problem and that bio-terrorism is even a larger threat. That's why I want cool heads in leadership, not hot heads.
Safety is a major concern these days!
It's in the top three, if not the top question parents ask about new places they go to with their children. Beyond having fun or learning parents as, "Will my child be safe?"
Sadly, women have to ask this question far more than they should. It angers me to no end that women cannot move, work, walk or live in assumed safety.
With the current election climate and the recent comments by Donal Trump, safety for the country and world is a growing concern for me. I lived through the nuclear threats of the cold war as a child. I don't relish going back to those days of impending nuclear blast. I know that nuclear proliferation is a problem and that bio-terrorism is even a larger threat. That's why I want cool heads in leadership, not hot heads.
Safety is a major concern these days!
Monday, April 4, 2016
Safe Haven
A harbor or haven by definition is supposed to be a safe place for ships to gather. But in 1699, Richard Bentley in his work A Dissertation Upon the Epistles of Phalaris said" She must not make to the next safe Harbour; but...bear away for the remotest."
And so a phrase was coined. A phrase that today even has legal features meaning a protection from liability or penalty.
It might seem redundant to say safe haven (because it literally means a safe safe place!), but the phrase sticks and even has some truth today. Why? Because not all havens are safe!
Enough about history though...the real question is - where is your safe haven.
Life today is fraught with danger - danger in places where there shouldn't be.
And so a phrase was coined. A phrase that today even has legal features meaning a protection from liability or penalty.
It might seem redundant to say safe haven (because it literally means a safe safe place!), but the phrase sticks and even has some truth today. Why? Because not all havens are safe!
Enough about history though...the real question is - where is your safe haven.
Life today is fraught with danger - danger in places where there shouldn't be.
- Home - supposedly a safe place but the amount of abuse and hardship found there is far too common
- Work - a place of significance and satisfaction but dangerous for many
- Church - a place of hope but one where hope is far too easily stolen
The list could go on...but I think we need to reclaim these places. Homes should be places of love and care and we should be people who fill our own homes with love and help others do the same. Work should be a place of satisfaction and accomplishment, so we should work to make this possible for everyone. Church should be a place of hope, so we should preach and live out that hope for others to experience.
So where to start...well...where you are! Commit to building places of love, satisfaction and hope. Then we will see safe havens in every area of our lives.
For Small Group Leaders
Since I lead a ministry of small group leaders at my church - we call them Faith Groups, I find that this concept is one we teach and train on often - making groups a safe place.
Your small group, if you are in one, should be a safe haven in life. It is the place where all three of the areas listed above intersect: home, work and church. It should be a safe haven for everyone who comes. I know they fail at this sometimes - people are broken. But still, we need to strive for making them safe. So, small group leaders - how can you make your small groups safe havens?
People are counting on us getting it right. How do you do it?
Let me know in the comments!
Wednesday, March 16, 2016
Goodbye
Goodbyes suck...
From friends at airports, to first loves, and next loves, to satisfying jobs and valued partnerships, to the final goodbye of death.
Goodbyes suck...
Even when they're right, healthy and appropriate.
Goodbyes suck...
From friends at airports, to first loves, and next loves, to satisfying jobs and valued partnerships, to the final goodbye of death.
Goodbyes suck...
Even when they're right, healthy and appropriate.
Goodbyes suck...
Monday, February 15, 2016
Smoke
Have you ever tried to get rid of smoke in your home? Like when you're making pizza and some cheese falls on the bottom of the oven and before you know it, acrid smoke is pouring into your home. Ever tried to get rid of it?
It's frustrating and pointless if you do it the wrong way. If you waft a cutting board, or put on a fan, even open a window...it sometimes has the wrong effect, and usually takes far longer to remove than you think. The funny thing is, if you become more intense in your efforts, if you waft stronger, or put the fan on higher, it doesn't make it quicker...sometimes, it just makes it harder and worse. And of course, tiring for you!
Recently, I was struck by the realization that some people are like smoke. No...I don't mean smelly, annoying and won't leave. Rather, I mean that there are people who, if you treat them the wrong way, you have the opposite effect on them than you intended. Instead of one reaction, they react differently than you hope, and if you get more intense about it, their reaction can be harder.
Working with "smoke-like" people in your life takes great skill...something I'm not particularly good at really. These are people who need love expressed in a different way. They want love in a gentle, soft and collaborative manner rather than direct and forceful manner. In fact, they might view forceful and direct as coercive and negatively manipulative.
With this realization about "smoke-like" people, I started thinking about those who are good with smoke. There are people who know how to blow smoke rings, or create beauty with smoke (just google "smoke art" for some amazing work). There are others who know how to weave smoke into their lives and activities (e.g. Native American, Chinese and Boy Scouts practices of smoke signals). These are people who are masters of gentleness and collaboration. They are masters at working with smoke. In life, there are those who are masters at working with "smoke-like" people.
Here's the point - we need "smoke-like" people in our lives. The gifts and beauty they bring create joy and beauty in our lives. Their gifts are rare and worth pursuing and enjoying. Their friendship is different than others and we are the better for it when we have it. But...the challenge with these sorts of people is that we can blow them away if we handle the friendship incorrectly. We can destroy them with the wrong approach.
And yet, when we get it right, there is great art in our relational lives - a beauty unmatched.
So how can we nurture relationships with "smoke-like"people?
I don't know!
But the masters of smoke do the following:
- they are gentle with smoke allowing it to flow around them
- they don't try to control or capture it
- they understand how to look for smoke and read its signs
- they value the time they have with smoke and learn all they can
- they enjoy the beauty it creates
Here's my best guess then at transferring this to nurturing a relationship with a "smoke-like" person:
- Don't force them to do things.
- Work gently with them in a collaboration allowing them to flow around what you do.
- Learn to read their signs of engagement and withdrawal and allow them to have those.
- Value them in your life.
- Enjoy the beauty of your relationship.
If you run a group of any kind (work, small group, book club, etc) then welcome "smoke-like" people into your group. Beware of forcing them into behaviors or conditions (like a covenant). Be gentle in engaging with them, and allow them space to withdraw if they want to do so. Value them and their contribution and enjoy the beauty of their perspective and contribution.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)