We just started watching a new show as a family: well, one child is 6 episodes in, another is one episode in with me and the other parent isn't watching at all - so yeah - the "family" is watching it!
Raising Dion is about a young elementary aged kid who discovers he has super powers. Like all origin stories, he has one parent, the other has died and his powers are developing in preparation to save a world catastrophe. But the way the season is shot, the music, the characters are quite different and beautifully done. The pace is unhurried and is interested in character development beyond the super hero. The story gives a wonderful insight into parenting, life and relationships in the modern world.
Check it out! Raising Dion, a Netflix show. I'll let you know more as a I see more episodes.
Saturday, October 12, 2019
Thursday, October 10, 2019
The Brave New Parent
I wasn't expecting my post about church leaders to spark commentary on parenting but it makes sense that it did. If we are going to impact the world then teaching our children about this "brave new world" and how to navigate it is key.
How do we do it?
Here are 10 thoughts off the top of my head (feel free to critique, they could be wrong)
How do we do it?
Here are 10 thoughts off the top of my head (feel free to critique, they could be wrong)
- Ask good questions of your children.
- Listen deeply to their answers.
- Share your failures.
- Laugh more.
- Reduce your protection of them.
- Let them fail.
- Know, share and live by your values.
- Be a place of reduced anxiety.
- Read more about parenting (find the right books for you).
- Create a village for your child and you.
What are your thoughts?
Wednesday, October 9, 2019
Flawed Leadership in a Hyper Critical World
Our tolerance for flawed leadership is getting lower and lower (although not in all spheres). We expect our leaders to be perfect and when they are not, they pay a high price personally and the organizations they lead pay an even higher price sometimes.
I was at a conference yesterday where I heard the same refrain about leaders in the church that I have heard for years: as the pastor goes, so goes the church they lead. I don't agree - or at least, I don't agree that it has to be like that.
Simply put, we are placing too much weight on the shoulders of our leaders and pastors when we say that the future of the organization depends on them. True, they operate this way at times, and as followers, we let them. But it can be different. And perhaps it is time for it to be different.
A quick review of judges will show an ever declining level of moral, skill, faith and character in the judges selected to free Israel. God seems to use whoever is willing, and sometimes at very high personal cost to that selected leader (Samson died for his judgeship). If God uses people no matter their flaws, perhaps we could help our leaders to lead no matter their flaws.
The future strength of an organization, church, movement or industry does not need to depend on the leader. It can also depend on the followers, the environment, the culture and the tenacity of each of these groups to push through towards their goals and objectives. Organizations rise and fall because leaders, their followers and their context all play a role in that rise and fall.
So, leaders, stop taking the weight all on yourself.
Followers, start picking up some weight for the future of the organization.
And everyone, pay attention to the context around you, it plays a role too.
What do you think?
I was at a conference yesterday where I heard the same refrain about leaders in the church that I have heard for years: as the pastor goes, so goes the church they lead. I don't agree - or at least, I don't agree that it has to be like that.
Simply put, we are placing too much weight on the shoulders of our leaders and pastors when we say that the future of the organization depends on them. True, they operate this way at times, and as followers, we let them. But it can be different. And perhaps it is time for it to be different.
A quick review of judges will show an ever declining level of moral, skill, faith and character in the judges selected to free Israel. God seems to use whoever is willing, and sometimes at very high personal cost to that selected leader (Samson died for his judgeship). If God uses people no matter their flaws, perhaps we could help our leaders to lead no matter their flaws.
The future strength of an organization, church, movement or industry does not need to depend on the leader. It can also depend on the followers, the environment, the culture and the tenacity of each of these groups to push through towards their goals and objectives. Organizations rise and fall because leaders, their followers and their context all play a role in that rise and fall.
So, leaders, stop taking the weight all on yourself.
Followers, start picking up some weight for the future of the organization.
And everyone, pay attention to the context around you, it plays a role too.
What do you think?
Saturday, June 1, 2019
A New Approach To Town Sports
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| Photo by Taylor Rooney on Unsplash |
Here's the idea: the specific sports board or committee host a parent and player session where they lay out the philosophy of coaching, selection and sport goals for the year. Parents are encouraged to set expectations with their children in this regard, which will help minimize heartache (although not removing it totally because disappointment is part of life and worth experiencing and working through).Coaches coach towards these specific goals. Selectors choose teams based on these goals and make their selection criteria public and share with parents the status of their child's selection criteria. This openness helps parents and players navigate the season well.
For example: a sport decides that their philosophy is total player development in skill and character, teamwork and enjoyment. Teams are selected to develop all players equally with teamwork as the goal not winning. Coach coach toward skill and character development and parents support and reward through cheering the achievement of these goals rather than individual focus and cheering reward. Travel/tournament teams are selected with this in mind and players who exemplify these criteria are selected.
A different example: a sport decides that their philosophy is winning with a focus on developing talented players and providing resources towards the goal of winning as they define it. Parents are encouraged to set expectations with their children in this regard. Coaches coach toward skill and team development with win-loss as the metric. Travel/tournament teams are selected for winning.
There are many examples and blends of these examples.
Each example, if clearly laid out, provides parents and players a road map for parenting, coaching and supporting. You may disagree with the stated goals but at least you know them and can guide your child accordingly.
Having coached in most of the sports my children play in, this type of conversation is seldom had and parents are left on the side of the field wondering why their child did not make a team, or how to guide their child based on a rotation of coaches and philosophies.
In case you are wondering, my personal philosophy for sports should be on total player development toward character, teamwork and life skills. Winning is when justice, empowerment and love are upheld not based on the score. When parents and players alike can support and cheer an individual achieving their goal, a town cheering its children, and teams with smiling faces and laughing bellies we have won as a town. When we cheer a team or player showing love and courage the score fades into the background because the real score becomes clear - love wins and evil loses. And we need more of that in our world - more love, less evil.
Our children are living in traumatized times, sport can be a place where trauma is pushed back and unity rises to the top. To all the town sports, make your goals clear, invite us into the conversation and let's choose the right goals for our children and society.
Friday, November 30, 2018
Politically Homeless
I got the term from a talk given by Michael Wear through the Q platform. You can watch it here. His talk is excellent and gives a powerful framework for the current issues facing America. Below are a few quotes that resonated with me, with some commentary.
"Politics and religion are two topics we are not supposed to discuss at the dinner table...for opposing reasons. People don't want to talk about politics because they hold their views too tightly. Too much of their identity is staked in politics. People don't want to talk about religion because they are haunted by the idea that they do not stake their lives in spiritual things enough"
I totally agree. Perhaps if we discussed these more, we might learn and change more. I believe we would do better to allow these taboo subjects back to the dinner table. Yes, the conversations will be tough, heated and maybe a little damaging. Not talking about them is causing far greater damage, maybe even irreparable damage - to our society, to our families, to our churches and to our souls
"Politics is causing great spiritual harm in America"
One needs only to look at any comment feed on social media to see this harm. But, if that isn't enough look at what Elizabeth Baker has to say about the spiritual harm done to her and others through the recent political past. Read her comments here.
"Americans are going to politics to get their spiritual needs met"
Politics cannot fill those needs, but to get our vote, they will offer to fill them. And so we run to our political platforms quoting Scripture and justifications believing that the answers to our problems lie in the size of government, the programs of government and the opportunities of government. Churches fall into playing this same game. From churches that promote a specific party view, to churches that refuse to engage in politics at all, Americans are left with few choices to consider alternatives to what politics offers. We would do well to engage in discussion about other avenues to meet our spiritual needs and why politics isn't the answer. But to diagnose this problem and to treat it we realize the following truth
"The state of our politics reflects the state of our souls"
This is true because we allow politicians to manipulate our most intimate beliefs because we make them available to them to be manipulated.
"The problem is not that we take politics too seriously. It’s that we take politics seriously in all of the wrong ways."
Politics is not the spiritual home of our souls. It is not where we find deepest belonging, transcendence, and solutions to our personal and corporate ills among other things. Sure, they offer those things, but their offerings are insubstantial and elusive. In fact, those offerings will change for political expediency to fit the times, AND, our beliefs change "to fit the moment" as Wear says.
"Christians are obliged to work for the benefit and flourishing of all people, whether or not they see the world as we do, or agree with us in any way. A Christian's obligation is not to their tribe, but to their God, a God who cares deeply for all people."
If we truly believe we are in relationship with the God of the entire universe, seen and unseen. If we truly believe he has given us the mandate to care for this world, as reflected in Genesis, then this is true. Paul made this case to the Colossians: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3:23-24 (NIV).
"If a Christian's political ideas and actions are not intended toward the good of their enemies, then their political witness is not Christian in its character. When it is, then everyone benefits."
This is probably one of the more provocative statements Wear makes. But, I cannot fault it. If we are only working for the good of believers, then we fail to understand the simplest concepts of the work of Jesus. "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8 (NIV). We weren't in his tribe, we were enemies (for lack of a better word), yet he worked for our good. Why would we do any less for others?
"Politics is an essential forum in which we can love our neighbor."
If it is an essential forum, then Christians need to engage in political action and discussion. I believe it is an essential forum. When our votes determine the health, wealth, safety, education, and general well being of our neighbor then it is an essential forum for love. We must talk about this more, not less.
"Am I politically homeless?"
Yes, I am!
"The crisis for Christians is not that we are politically homeless, the crisis is that we ever thought we could make our home in politics at all. Our home is with him who has made his home in us."
I may be politically homeless, but that's ok, my home is somewhere else. But, trust me, I will engage in politics, through discussion and action, through word and vote, because it is one way to love my neighbor. I will fail my neighbor in this, but I will do my level best.
For those interested, I am engaged in a group choosing to learn how to be more involved in healthy political discussion and action. The table includes a broad spectrum on the political divide, but not broad enough. The table is open for more people. If you want in, let me know.
If you want to discuss the Wear video, host a dinner with others, contact Q Forums for discussion questions, and start talking!
"Politics and religion are two topics we are not supposed to discuss at the dinner table...for opposing reasons. People don't want to talk about politics because they hold their views too tightly. Too much of their identity is staked in politics. People don't want to talk about religion because they are haunted by the idea that they do not stake their lives in spiritual things enough"
I totally agree. Perhaps if we discussed these more, we might learn and change more. I believe we would do better to allow these taboo subjects back to the dinner table. Yes, the conversations will be tough, heated and maybe a little damaging. Not talking about them is causing far greater damage, maybe even irreparable damage - to our society, to our families, to our churches and to our souls
"Politics is causing great spiritual harm in America"
One needs only to look at any comment feed on social media to see this harm. But, if that isn't enough look at what Elizabeth Baker has to say about the spiritual harm done to her and others through the recent political past. Read her comments here.
"Americans are going to politics to get their spiritual needs met"
Politics cannot fill those needs, but to get our vote, they will offer to fill them. And so we run to our political platforms quoting Scripture and justifications believing that the answers to our problems lie in the size of government, the programs of government and the opportunities of government. Churches fall into playing this same game. From churches that promote a specific party view, to churches that refuse to engage in politics at all, Americans are left with few choices to consider alternatives to what politics offers. We would do well to engage in discussion about other avenues to meet our spiritual needs and why politics isn't the answer. But to diagnose this problem and to treat it we realize the following truth
"The state of our politics reflects the state of our souls"
This is true because we allow politicians to manipulate our most intimate beliefs because we make them available to them to be manipulated.
"The problem is not that we take politics too seriously. It’s that we take politics seriously in all of the wrong ways."
Politics is not the spiritual home of our souls. It is not where we find deepest belonging, transcendence, and solutions to our personal and corporate ills among other things. Sure, they offer those things, but their offerings are insubstantial and elusive. In fact, those offerings will change for political expediency to fit the times, AND, our beliefs change "to fit the moment" as Wear says.
"Christians are obliged to work for the benefit and flourishing of all people, whether or not they see the world as we do, or agree with us in any way. A Christian's obligation is not to their tribe, but to their God, a God who cares deeply for all people."
If we truly believe we are in relationship with the God of the entire universe, seen and unseen. If we truly believe he has given us the mandate to care for this world, as reflected in Genesis, then this is true. Paul made this case to the Colossians: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3:23-24 (NIV).
"If a Christian's political ideas and actions are not intended toward the good of their enemies, then their political witness is not Christian in its character. When it is, then everyone benefits."
This is probably one of the more provocative statements Wear makes. But, I cannot fault it. If we are only working for the good of believers, then we fail to understand the simplest concepts of the work of Jesus. "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8 (NIV). We weren't in his tribe, we were enemies (for lack of a better word), yet he worked for our good. Why would we do any less for others?
"Politics is an essential forum in which we can love our neighbor."
If it is an essential forum, then Christians need to engage in political action and discussion. I believe it is an essential forum. When our votes determine the health, wealth, safety, education, and general well being of our neighbor then it is an essential forum for love. We must talk about this more, not less.
"Am I politically homeless?"
Yes, I am!
"The crisis for Christians is not that we are politically homeless, the crisis is that we ever thought we could make our home in politics at all. Our home is with him who has made his home in us."
I may be politically homeless, but that's ok, my home is somewhere else. But, trust me, I will engage in politics, through discussion and action, through word and vote, because it is one way to love my neighbor. I will fail my neighbor in this, but I will do my level best.
For those interested, I am engaged in a group choosing to learn how to be more involved in healthy political discussion and action. The table includes a broad spectrum on the political divide, but not broad enough. The table is open for more people. If you want in, let me know.
If you want to discuss the Wear video, host a dinner with others, contact Q Forums for discussion questions, and start talking!
Friday, November 2, 2018
Sinking Sand
I recently had the privilege of listening to Andy Stanley speak about his new book Irresistible. The focus of the day was on the singular event that defines Christianity.
Andy spent the opening session highlighting how many people, myself included, work under a faulty assumption: that the Bible is the foundation of the Christian faith. The follow on from this is the following: as the Bible goes, so goes Christianity.
The image that comes to mind is of someone struggling in sinking sand, trying to find firm footing but sinking ever deeper and deeper. This is the state of Christianity today - an ongoing struggle to prove the veracity of the Bible, and a hidden fear that the Bible might be proven wrong and if so, then Christianity is false, Jesus is dead and our faith is misguided.
BUT...
The Bible isn't the foundation of the Christian faith. It is simply a collection of documents, detailing the history and law of Israel, and letters and eye-witness accounts of a very specific event: the resurrection of Jesus. That event is the foundation of the Christian faith.
For me, in that conference, I felt like someone who, was that person sinking deeper and deeper into the sand trap, but who suddenly found a firm footing. My firm footing of faith wasn't in the veracity, inerrancy or reliability of a title (The Bible), but in the EVENT the documents of the Bible, specifically the gospels talk about - the resurrection of Jesus.
Many people witnessed this resurrection and gave testimony to its truth: broken-hearted women, fearful fishermen, terrified followers and ashamed individuals. These nobodies, conquered people living in a dusty corner of the Roman empire, would testify to this event and in just 300 years, that Empire would make their faith the national faith of the empire. From a persecuted group of dozens, a movement of billions now exists.
Andy gave a clear clarion call that I am answering - let's testify to the resurrection of Jesus again and live the way he told us to - loving one another AS HE LOVED US.
Andy spent the opening session highlighting how many people, myself included, work under a faulty assumption: that the Bible is the foundation of the Christian faith. The follow on from this is the following: as the Bible goes, so goes Christianity.
The image that comes to mind is of someone struggling in sinking sand, trying to find firm footing but sinking ever deeper and deeper. This is the state of Christianity today - an ongoing struggle to prove the veracity of the Bible, and a hidden fear that the Bible might be proven wrong and if so, then Christianity is false, Jesus is dead and our faith is misguided.
BUT...
The Bible isn't the foundation of the Christian faith. It is simply a collection of documents, detailing the history and law of Israel, and letters and eye-witness accounts of a very specific event: the resurrection of Jesus. That event is the foundation of the Christian faith.
For me, in that conference, I felt like someone who, was that person sinking deeper and deeper into the sand trap, but who suddenly found a firm footing. My firm footing of faith wasn't in the veracity, inerrancy or reliability of a title (The Bible), but in the EVENT the documents of the Bible, specifically the gospels talk about - the resurrection of Jesus.
Many people witnessed this resurrection and gave testimony to its truth: broken-hearted women, fearful fishermen, terrified followers and ashamed individuals. These nobodies, conquered people living in a dusty corner of the Roman empire, would testify to this event and in just 300 years, that Empire would make their faith the national faith of the empire. From a persecuted group of dozens, a movement of billions now exists.
Andy gave a clear clarion call that I am answering - let's testify to the resurrection of Jesus again and live the way he told us to - loving one another AS HE LOVED US.
Sunday, April 1, 2018
Reckless
This Holy Week I had the privilege of sitting through our communion services twice due to a small part in one activity. I was not prepared for the opening song (on either night). I know that sounds strange, but the first night I wasn't prepared because I didn't know it. On the second night, I simply wasn't prepared for a greater experience of connection than the night before.
As tears ran down my face listening to our band present the version you will find below, I was struck deep in my soul with the truth of the chorus:
O the overwhelming , never-ending reckless love of God
O it chases me down, fights till I'm found
Leaves the ninety nine
I couldn't earn it
I don't deserve
Still you give yourself away
O the overwhelming , never-ending reckless love of God
This is my experience of God - especially in my darkest times. Listen to the song that was the basis of their rendition. I hope you will experience God's overwhelming, never-ending reckless love.
As tears ran down my face listening to our band present the version you will find below, I was struck deep in my soul with the truth of the chorus:
O the overwhelming , never-ending reckless love of God
O it chases me down, fights till I'm found
Leaves the ninety nine
I couldn't earn it
I don't deserve
Still you give yourself away
O the overwhelming , never-ending reckless love of God
This is my experience of God - especially in my darkest times. Listen to the song that was the basis of their rendition. I hope you will experience God's overwhelming, never-ending reckless love.
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